After three years of hoping, wishing and dreaming of moving to Oregon it is finally happening. And quickly I might add. Once I got the news that a job awaited me in Portland, I devoted all of my energy to the logistical tasks of relocating cross country: finding a place to live, hiring movers, changing addresses, cancelling utility services, etc. With just eight days left in Wisconsin and finally having a minute alone where I am not inundated with a slew of tasks to do, a bit of the whole thing hit me: my entire life is about to change! This realization is both terrifying and exhilarating.
My furniture is going into storage. I will no longer be living alone. I will be foregoing access to a vehicle and will be learning to use a new public transportation system. I will be spending most of my work day outside, walking around Portland instead of in an office. I will know very few people. I will have no favorite restaurants, music venues, coffee shops or parks. I have no idea where my veterinarian, grocery store, post office or library will be. I have no idea what the next chapter of my life will look like. And you know what? That’s completely OK. I am daring to imagine I can have a different life.
For those of you who have always been mostly content with how your life is, part of me envies you and the other part of me feels sad for you. I have never felt settled or content. I have always been looking toward something new. The next big thing. It’s probably part of the reason I have a bucket list a mile long and take great joy in planning trips and making goal lists. I have no idea what it would feel like to not want for something. Someone once asked me if I suddenly accomplished everything I had dreamed of right now, would I be content? The answer was clear, I hope not! What would life be like if I never hoped or dreamed for something in the future? I’m not talking about things. I’m talking about adventures, people and learning. For better or worse, I thrive on the experiences that come with taking risks. Of not standing still. Of going after the things I want. Or think I might want. Changing my mind. Making mistakes. Sometimes that works out and sometimes it doesn’t. Either way it goes, the experience of that adventure helps me discover a little more of who I am and who I want to be. How sad it is to me to think that there are people who will never know the feeling of stepping into the unknown. Of risking what is easy for what might be great. When you take a chance on your dreams, they might just come true.
Thank you to all those who have genuinely shared in my excitement for this new adventure I am about to embark upon. Your support means more than I can convey. I am embracing the possibilities of what could be and I have confidence that no matter what the future holds for me, this all will be meaningful. For the few of you who don’t understand or think I am making a mistake, thank you for lighting a fire in my soul to live the best life I can and to enjoy every moment of the journey just a little bit more.