It’s difficult for someone who wants to get out there and live life to sit around day after day alone. These past couple of weeks I have been finding it difficult to keep saying “no” to invitations to get out and do things. Bachelorette parties, bridal showers, birthday dinners, live music performances and so forth. I love these times to get together with good people and simply enjoy each other’s conversations. But, these things all cost money and I do not have the luxury of spending $5 here, $10 there, $20 over there. It all adds up. Being a single person living alone on a nonprofit salary does not afford many luxuries. It definitely doesn’t allow for things like a savings account or retirement plan. I live paycheck to paycheck and when emergencies come up, all hell breaks loose. It usually involves living off ramen and boxed macaroni and cheese for weeks or even months on end until I can bounce back. I knew when I decided to get serious about moving to Oregon, I would have to save about $6,000 – $7,000 over the course of the next year. I knew that would be difficult and would mean making sacrifices in order to achieve but now that I’m actually making those changes, I find it a little more difficult than I first imagined.
Perhaps this is all part of my journey and exactly how it should be. I believe beyond reason that there is a life waiting for me in Oregon that will bring a happiness I have never known. I cannot explain it. Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach wrote “Those who understand only what can be explained understand very little.” I do not know how much I understand about anything right now but I have faith in Oregon and am willing to follow that feeling where it leads me.
An Unquiet Life 